Planning Your Reception Events

So it is now time to start planning for your reception and putting things in order. If you are like most people you are not quite sure what order things should be done in and moreover, what is a reasonable time frame for events to occur. Let this article help and give you ideas as you make some of your decisions with the planning of your reception.

The Receiving Line

Receiving lines are generally done at the place where your wedding ceremony will be. The Bride and Groom along with their parents stand at the door and meet and greet their guests as they exit the Wedding Ceremony. You may also have grandparents and wedding party stand with you in the receiving line.

Some couples opt to do their receiving line at the reception itself. This can be easily pulled off as long as you will be arriving before all of your guests. You can stand at the entrance of the reception hall and greet your guests as they come in. I typically see this when there is a lengthy amount of time between the Ceremony and Reception.

Announcement of Bride and Groom

PART I
The announcement of the Bride and Groom is important to let the guests know when you have arrived. Some brides and grooms do not want that sort of attention drawn to them but others expect it. Either way is fine and can be discussed with your DJ.

PART II
The Grand Entrance: Another option that you have is to have your DJ announce not only the Bride and Groom but also your entire Wedding Party. We call this the "Grand Entrance". This works best when the Bride and Groom and their Wedding Party arrive at the same time. Your DJ will then organize the group and announce them starting from the bottom of the Wedding Party list and going up to your Best Man and Maid of Honor. The Bride and Groom are always the last to be announced. Music of your choice can be selected for the Grand Entrance. (For other options on announcing your wedding party please see the Bandstand Music Planning Booklet)

Announcing Your Dinner

Dinner is announced once the catering staff is ready. Your DJ will coordinate with the staff on when dinner is to be served. The dinner announcement will only be made when the Bride and Groom are ready and have granted their DJ permission to make that announcement. Dinner always gets kicked off with the Bride and Groom going first followed by the Wedding Party, Parents, Grandparents, and any reserved tables. Everyone else then follows.
Depending on the hall and the amount of people at the reception, your DJ can excuse people table by table in order to make the dinner line run more smoothly. You as the Bride and Groom can also request that your DJ do this.
If a sit down dinner is going to be taking place then your DJ will announce for everyone to take his or her seats as the dinner is about to begin.

Toast

The toast can be made from the head table or the cake table. Also, toasts can be made by just about anyone. Traditionally, the best man makes the toast. However, toasting now days is given by the Best Man and Maid of Honor. Also, it is not uncommon for close friends, relatives or other members of the Wedding Party to say a few words as well.
As the Bride and Groom, you also have the option of saying a few words at your own reception. To get on the microphone and give a small speech to your guests can be very heartwarming. Generally a speech made by the bride and groom should include a thank you to the parents, wedding party and all of the guests for attending. If anyone has traveled a great distance you can mention your appreciation by saying their name and where they came from.

Cake Cutting

The cake cutting has been a standard tradition since the early Roman Empire. Feeding each other Wedding Cake (or sharing food) is the way the Romans pledged their love for each other. The cake cutting is and should be an event for you and your guests to enjoy. Your DJ should announce the cake cutting and encourage guests to take part in it by following the Bride and Groom over to the cake table.
Your photographer or coordinator will guide you through the Cake Cutting Ceremony. Smashing the cake into each others faces can be fun and appropriate for some but not for others. A DJ should never encourage this and refrain from making any comments or announcements during the Cake Cutting.

Bouquet and Garter Toss

The bouquet and garter toss is pretty self-explanatory. They are almost always done one right after the other starting with?

Bouquet Toss - The bride will throw her bouquet to all of the single ladies attending the reception. Your DJ will help to gather all of the single ladies onto the dance floor. Traditionally the lady who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married.

***Suggestion: If there are going to be a lot of children at the reception you may want to have two bouquet tosses. One (a candy bouquet for the female children) and a second for the adult women using your throw bouquet. For the young ones a candy bouquet can be a lot of fun and are available at most wedding stores. A good idea is to provide a little something for the rest of the children that do not catch the bouquet. Small bags of candy to give away to all the kids is a good idea.

Garter Toss - Before the garter is thrown it first has to be removed from the Brides leg. The Bride can either sit in a chair or stand and put her leg on the chair. Either way is fine and just depends on what the Bride is comfortable with. Sometimes the best man can be used as the chair but is done so only upon request of the Bride and Groom. Announcements from your MC during the Garter removal should be clean and in good taste.
Some Grooms prefer to have the single men already on the dance floor before they remove the garter and this is your choice. Once the garter has been removed it is now time to bring out the single men to the dance floor if they are not already there. Again, candy bouquets work great if there are a lot of male children who want to take part.

Bride and Groom Dance

The Bride and Groom dance is one of the most important events that will occur. This is almost what will make the whole day official. It is the time when the Bride and Groom can share an intimate moment together for everyone to see. The song for this dance is completely up to the Bride and Groom and should be one that has some sort of sentimental value. Your MC should announce for everyone to clear the dance floor before this dance giving the Bride and Groom the opportunity to share it alone.

Father Bride Dance

Wow! The father bride dance always touches me. There is always that attachment and connection that I can see between a bride and her father during this dance.
The song chosen should be one that is appropriate for a bride and her father. There are suggestions for these songs in various wedding publications. If you are at a complete loss you can always choose a song from your fathers favorite artist or band.

Mother Groom Dance

The mother groom dance is starting to become just as common as the father bride dance. Over the last twenty years we have been seeing more grooms having dances with their mothers as part of the traditional dances. Recommended songs are ones that are short and sweet but not too lovey dovey. Pick a song that is simple or that has a sentimental meaning for the groom and his mother.

***Suggestion: In order to save a little time at the reception some Brides and Grooms will opt to combine the Father/Bride Mother/Groom into one dance. This is completely up to you and either way is fine.

Parents Dance

The parents dance is traditionally done to honor the parents of the Bride and Groom. A Bride and Groom may stay on the dance floor with their parents for this dance but that is optional. If there is a special circumstance such as divorced parents or ones that have passed you may have to improvise. In the case of divorced parents you should have the parents dance only if everyone is comfortable with it. In the case of a parent who has passed you may have a close relative fill in for that parent. Again keep in mind that a parent's dance is optional.

Wedding Party Dance

Having a wedding party dance is a great way to honor the members of the wedding who are closest to you. This dance usually includes the Bride and Groom and all of the Bridesmaids and Groomsman. On occasion I have seen the ushers also take part in this dance. A song can be something slow and sentimental or it can be upbeat and fun. Believe it or not I once had a Bride and Groom choose the "Hokey Pokey" as their wedding party dance. It caught everyone off guard and was a real hoot. The point is that you can have just about any song for the Wedding Party dance.

Wedding Party members should dance with who ever they were paired up with for the Wedding. You can always choose to have Wedding Party members dance with their significant others for this dance as well. Either way be creative and have fun with this.


Dollar Dance

Wow! The Dollar Dance? to have or not to have. Most Brides and Grooms debate on whether or not they want to have a dollar dance at their reception. I will take a minute here to fill you in on the pros and cons and hopefully this will help you with your decision.

CONS: Brides and Grooms feel that a dollar dance takes up too much time and is boring for the guests. The B&G also feel as if they are begging people for money by having one. People tend to leave during the Dollar Dance. All of these are valid and legitimate points.

PROS: Most of the guests at the reception expect to see a dollar dance. It gives them the opportunity to personally thank the B&G and to have the honor of a brief dance with you on this special day.

***Suggestion: Dollar dances should be for young brides and grooms who are just starting out. Dollar dances are not always appropriate with second marriages or for older more established Brides and Grooms.

If you choose to have a dollar dance the timing of when to have it is critical. You do not want to wait to long but then again it is not wise to rush into it.

Reccommendation:
Once all of the above mentioned events are done avoid going straight into your dollar dance. By the time the wedding party dance is over guests will start to get restless. You may want to play at least a half hour of dance music. This will loosen the guests up and give them an opportunity to mingle and dance.

This brief dance time before the dollar dance starts is an excellent time for your DJ to play some of the classic oldies. Your DJ can throw in a Polka, some swing, and some classic love songs. Please talk with you DJ about song suggestions for this portion of your dance. Keep in mind that older guest tend to leave early so its important to play something for them in the first part of the evening.

Try to do your dollar dance no less than twenty minutes after the dance music starts and no more than forty-five minutes into the dance. It is also crucial that your DJ reminds the Best Man and Maid of Honor (the money takers) to keep the line of guests moving at a consistent moderate pace.

Sample Orders

Let's take a look at some sample orders of all of the Reception events. Again, keep in mind that these are only suggestions and can be altered to fit you needs. Not all events must be done and you can add or eliminate as needed.

Sample Order 1
1. Receiving Line
2. Announcing of B&G
3. Dinner
4. Toast
5. Cake Cutting
6. Bouquet Toss
7. Garter Toss
8. Bride and Groom Dance
9. Father Bride / Mother Groom Dance
10. Parents Dance
11. Wedding Party
12. Dollar Dance

Sample Order 2
1. Receiving Line
2. Announcing of B&G
3. Cake Cutting
4. Dinner
5. Toast
6. Bride and Groom Dance
7. Father Bride / Mother Groom
8. Parents Dance
9. Wedding Party Dance
10. Bouquet Toss
11. Garter Toss
12. Dollar Dance


Notice that in sample 2 that the Cake Cutting is done before the dinner. Some couples and halls like to do it this way because it allows the cake cutters to have the cake cut and ready to serve as people finish their dinner. The only downfall to doing it this way is that guests can still be up walking around, getting drinks and talking with people as the Bride and Groom are cutting their cake. They really have not settled in yet. By the time dinner winds down guests have settled in and will be much more prone to watch the Cake Cutting ceremony. That is why most Cake Cutting Ceremonies take place after the dinner.

Also, in sample 2 the bouquet and garter toss happen after the Wedding Party Dance. You can choose to do your bouquet and garter toss immediately following the Wedding Party Dance or you can wait and do this right before the dollar dance. Let's look at two more samples.

Now we are going to change things up a bit. Take a look at samples 3 &4 and notice a dramatic change in the order.


Sample Order 3
1. Receiving Line
2. Grand Entrance
3. Bride and Groom Dance
4. Cake Cutting
5. Dinner
6. Toast
7. Father Bride / Mother Groom Dance
8. Parents Dance
9. Wedding Party Dance
10. Dollar Dance
11. Bouquet Toss
12. Garter Toss

Sample Order 4
1. Receiving Line
2. Grand Entrance
3. Toast
4. Dinner
5. Cake Cutting
6. Bouquet Toss
7. Garter Toss
8. Bride and Groom Dance
9. Parents Dance
10. Father Bride / Mother Groom
11. Wedding Party Dance
12. Dollar Dance


Notice in sample 3 that the Bride and Groom Dance is done immediately. This is tradition in some parts of the country. Starting the events of the evening with the Bride and Groom Dancing is a very classy way of getting things going. Notice in Sample 4 that the toast is done before the dinner. Again, this can be a very classy way to start things off before the dinner begins.
In sample 3 the Bouquet and Garter toss are last. Some Brides and Grooms will wait until later in the evening to do this. The idea is that the quests are loosened up and you can have more fun with this event.


In Closing

Please keep in mind that as you plan your reception there is no right or wrong way to place your events. You can be as creative as you want. There are pros and cons to the sample orders listed above but all of them work equally well for most events.
It is also important to keep in mind the coordination your MC has to have with your photographer and videographer. It is up to your DJ to keep them up to speed on what is happening and in what order things will take place. Most photographers will prefer that you go in the order listed in sample 

The reason for this is because photographers generally do not hang around until the wee hours of the evening. They like to get their shots in an orderly fashion so that things flow easier and so the are not sitting around all evening wasting your money as they wait for certain events to take place.

One other thing that was not mentioned in this article was the presentation of a video scrapbook at your reception. It has become very popular to show a video during the reception that highlights the Bride and Groom. These are called video scrapbooks and can be shown in a variety of ways. I have seen people show them on a small TV that is located somewhere in the hall. It will be played throughout the evening and guests can view it at their leisure at anytime.

Another way is to show it as an "event" at the reception. You can project it on a big screen or on a white wall and have everyone view it together. Your MC can get everyone's attention and have them settle in for the presentation. A good time to do this is when the dinner is winding down. You can show the video and then go into the toast from there. Always try to keep your video scrapbook to no more than 15 minutes.

If you have any questions or would like to talk in more detail about this article you can contact me anytime. I can be reached anytime in my office Monday thru Saturday from 9:00 to 5:00 or you can reach me by e-mail. Good luck with everything and all the best.